Showing posts with label demons drugs PTSD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label demons drugs PTSD. Show all posts

Monday, November 1, 2010

Life After Cornbread

  Have you ever lost someone that was real close to you? It affected me almost as much as it did when I killed my patient. I hardly remember the next 6 months. I stayed so stoned I barely could work. I did work, though. I had to do something to take my mind off my problems. I managed to stay out of jail for a while. The Demon was fucking with me hard. I would have nightmares about the colonel killing my brother. My partying brother was gone. I had two more brothers, one older and one younger. My oldest brother worked at Goodyear and was heavily involved in union stuff. My younger brother lived in Houston, Tx. so I hardly saw him. I was married at the time to a woman that I had nothing in common with. I got her pregnant and felt like I should marry her to help raise my child. That marriage did not last very long. If you did not do drugs and married that woman you would be a doper when you left her. I had too many problems to be in a relationship with anyone. I started going to see a psychiatrist at the VA about my nightmares. He put me on a bunch of shit that I did not need. Just made everything worse. My parents talked me in to going to a drug treatment facility. It was an inpatient program that lasted 6 months. I agreed to do it. I had some experience with drug treatment so I excelled in the program. I was appointed by the staff to be a senior resident. It was more like a police. I was supposed to write other residents a demerit which would prolong their stay. Hell, 6 months was long enough, so, I refused to write anyone up. I got fired. Fine by me. I was the first resident to make it through the whole 6 months without getting a demerit. Whoop-de-doo! I did learn a lot about treatment, though. I also got divorce papers while I was there. Another whoop-de-doo. I did not care, anyway. I did make it 6 months without getting high. You know what that meant. I had problems with sleeping. I had some residents that asked to be moved out of my dorm because they thought that I would do something to them at night. Scarety-cats.
  I graduated with honors and left the place, got into my truck, and went to an emergency room in Rome, Ga. They admitted me. The doctors said I had some fractured ribs with a possible punctured lung and they wanted to watch me to make sure the lung was okay. Fine by me. I laid up in that hospital room and got me a shot of Demerol 100mg every 4 hours. Free. I gave them a bogus name, ss#, and told them I owned my company, which was bogus, and told them to send the bill to my bogus address and I would file it under my bogus Workman's comp. I left after a couple days but not before I acquired me a prescription pad. It was on like a chicken bone, then. Have you ever noticed how many friends you have when you have a lot of dope? It's amazing. They should do a study on that one. Look, all I was trying to do was quiet that Demon I had in my head. The only way to shut him up was drugs. I'm not talking about weed it had to be scheduled 3and 4 drugs. I was in for a rude awakening.   theblogmeister