Wednesday, October 7, 2009

God's Own Drunk

I promised my brother-in-law that I would watch his still while he went into town to vote. It was right up on the mountain where the map said it would be. God's little moon was shining through the clear summer evening and the stars were twinkling on and off in the heavens and I want to say up front that I ain't no drinking man but temptation got the best of me and I took a slash. WHEW ! Let me tell you, this weren't no ordinary still! That yeller whiskey was a runnin' down my throat like honey dew vine water.Like I said once before I ain't no drinkin' man but after tasting that stuff I was convinced. I was God's Own Drunk. And a fearless man. So, I took another slash. Then, I took another, and another and before you knowed it I downed 8 of 'em and commenced to do the bear dance. It were alot like the jitterbug but plum evaded me. Well, that's when I first saw the bear. He wuz a kodiac-lookin' feller bout 19 feet tall. He rambled up over the hill and expected me to do 1 of 2 things, flip or fly. Didn't do either one and that hung him up. He looked me in my eyes and mine wuz a lot redder than his wuz, that hung him up. He wuz sniffin' around trying to smell fear but he ain't gonna smell no fear cuz I'm God's Own Drunk and a fearless man. That hung him up! Well, I approaced him and he took 2 steps backards, didn't know what to think. Being charitable and cautious I approached him, again. I said I know you got a lot of friends on the other side of that hill. There's ole rare bear, tall bear, smelley the bear, smokey the bear, pokey the bear and I want you to go back over the other side of that hill and you tell them I'm feelin' right, that I love each and every one of them like a brother or a sister, but, if they give me any trouble tonite, I'm gonna run ever damn one of 'em off this hill! So, I want you to be my buddy. Buddy Bear. I took ole Buddy Bear by his island-sized paw and led him over to the still. He wuz sniffin' around that thing cuz he smelled somethin' good. He took one of them jugs of honey-dew vine water and downed it right fast and he started snorten, fartin', rippin' up my tent, carryin' on by the likes I never seen before. WHEW! Well, we worked ourselves into a tumultuous uproar and I was awful tired. Layed down, went to sleep, and dreamt me some tremelous dreams. When I woke up, there wuz God's little moon shinin' on the clear summer evenin', God's little lanterns wuz a twinklin' on and off in the heavens and my Buddy Bear wuz a missin'. You know somethin' else friends and heighbors. So wuz that still!
I thought I'd step off in the light for a change. I hope you enjoyed it. theblogmeister