Saturday, April 2, 2011

What If.....?

  The stench was awful. Having been a part of over 50 autopsies you would think the smell of death would be minimized by olfactory fatigue. Not this time. The patient had died of cancer that had metastasized in the colon. That is why the smell was so bad. There is a huge difference between healthy cells and cancerous cells, obviously, but this cancer that had devoured the large intestine smelled like nothing I had ever smelled before. This was not my first autopsy on a cancer patient. This was, however, the worst autopsy I had ever witnessed. The standard Y incision was made and the skin was pulled up covering the patients head. After gaining access to the abdomen by cutting bone all of the organs were there to be examined, one by one. The heart showed its age by the inflammation of the heart muscle and the sac that surrounds the heart. Some of the coronary vessels were incised to check on how much lipids had developed. They were not in good shape, at all. It was not the cause of death, though. We knew the COD by reading the physicians progress notes. It really is amazing he lived as long as he did. There is no way that I will make it to 90, much less 94. I am sure the high cholesterol will knock off a few years, with the smoking taking several more. Henry, my pathologist friend, and I are among the minority of doctors that smoke cigarettes. That's almost like an alcoholic that drives a taxi for his job. Does not make much sense. We started smoking when we were young and in the Air Force. We did it to get out of formation for a smoke break while those that did not smoke had to stand in formation. It is a nasty habit that we cannot break. Henry had called me at the ER to see if I could help him out a little. We were slow, so, I helped him out. We were on the last patient and had just finished weighing the organs about to take a look at the brain to see if any cancer had spread to there. I pulled the flap down to stitch in place when I looked at the patient for the first time. I knew this guy. I asked Henry what the patients name was and he said "DeBarge, Renold L." He then looked up at me with that quizzical look and I said, " We know this man. He was a patient of ours at Eglin. Do you remember his cancer going into remission?" I saw that sparkle in his eye when he answered, " Yea, I remember him. He would not let anyone but you work on him. Didn't you..." "Yes, I told you about him. He tried his best to get me to give him something that would overdose him." Henry was the only person that knew about that. " Damn, just think what would have happened if you had done it." We both looked at each other and Henry finally said, " Let's skip the brain and go get a beer at Hooters." I grinned, " Fine by me."            theblogmeister

Suicide by Active and Non-Active Military

  Suicides by members of the United States Army are at their highest level in 20 years and most soldiers wanting to end their lives reach for a gun. Despite efforts by the US to strengthen its suicide prevention programmes, the number of suicides by both active and non-active duty soldiers continues to climb.
  In the first 11 months of 2010, there were a total of 272 such suicides. While figures for December have not been included, the number has already surpassed that of 2009, when 242 active and non-active soldier suicides were reported. The data for 2010 show that 144 active duty soldiers committed suicide as did 128 non-active duty soldiers. For both categories, the most common means of death was by gunshot wound.
  “The senior leadership of the Army continues to talk about the force being out of balance,” Army Colonel Chris Philbrick, commander of an Army task force working to reduce suicides, told Philbrick said the reason for increased suicide among active duty soldiers is related to a force that is facing continued stress, significant number of relationship issues, as well as repeated deployments, given years of combat in Iraq and Afghanistan.
  But the stresses of war tell only part of the story as 39 per cent of those in the Army who committed suicide in 2010 have never deployed.
  In terms of suicides for non-active duty soldiers – which more than doubled since 2009 - Philbrick said the figure may be linked to an increase in stressful situations resulting from financial issues, home foreclosures and job loss. Drug and alcohol abuse, family stress and relationship problems may also be contributing factors.
  " By making it easier for soldiers to keep guns in their own home, you're making it easier for their suicide attempts to prove lethal. "
  Unlike their counterparts in Switzerland, US soldiers only have access to military weapons during active duty and do not store their military weapons in their homes. But many Americans have access to guns, with 40 to 45 per cent of American households having firearms in the home, according to figures by the National Rifle Association.
Swiss citizens voted in February on an initiative that wants to ban army-issued firearms from households and set up a nationwide arms register in an effort in part to reduce suicides.
  “By making it easier for soldiers to keep guns in their own home, whether civilian or military issued, you're making it easier for their suicide attempts to prove lethal,” Matthew Miller, Associate Director of the Harvard Injury Control Research Center, told Miller says that over 90 per cent of those who attempt suicide in the US with a gun will die while fewer than five per cent will die by other commonly-used methods such as pill taking. “It is important to recognise that suicides, especially among younger people, are often impulsive acts. That is the reason to reduce access to guns in the home,” he said.
Miller points to decreased suicides in the Israeli Defense Force, a mandatory population-based army drafting all youth ages 18-21, following a policy change implemented in 2006 requiring soldiers to keep their firearms on the base when they take weekend leave.
  After the policy change, the total suicide rate by soldiers decreased by 40 per cent in 2007-2008. “Most of this decrease was the result of reduced use of guns over the weekend without any other significant changes in suicide rates during the weekdays,” Miller said.

The US Army has launched a series of programmes aimed at strengthening suicide-prevention and removing the stigma associated with seeking psychological counselling. It has also initiated two major studies – a $50 million, five year investigation in 2009 and a $17 million project in 2010 – to better understand the problem. Due to the increased number of suicides, the Army has also incorporated weapon training information in its suicide-prevention programmes, according to Philbrick. “We have continued to reinforce at every level the opportunity to educate our soldiers, civilians and family members on the appropriate means to safeguard, handle and utilise privately owned weapons,” Philbrick said.
  The issue of gun ownership is a divisive one in the US with the public split over whether state and local governments should be able to pass laws banning the sale and possession of handguns.
  Half of the public says that state and local governments should not be able to pass laws barring the sale or possession of handguns in their jurisdictions, while 45 per cent say they should be able to pass such laws, according to a survey earlier this year by Pew Research.
  “Easy access to guns can turn a transient crisis into a permanent tragedy,” the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence told “Firearm suicide is a major public health problem in the United States.” The National Rifle Association was unavailable for comment.

Of course the NRA has "no comment". Lobbyist are paid millions of dollars to protect the second amendment's 'right to bare arms'. I believe in the inherent right of all Americans that are legally able should carry arms if they so choose. My problem is the sale of automatic weapons and munitions that are able to tear through body armor. Most of these sales stem from gun shows that are not worried about the background checks. The dollar is more important than selling an AR-15 to some thugs, yes, it is racial profiling, than the hassle of paperwork for legal sales. I would not be opposed to the ban on all automatic weapons sold to civilians. Think of how many children get shot during a drive-by coming from a smoking hot barrel of an AR-15 or an AK-47. Do hunters need a 30 round clip to kill their game? How about someone that uses a weapon for target practice? They do not need a rapid fire automatic weapon. It just takes common sense but the most important thing is the other cents. It is all about the almighty dollar. The NRA is a powerful (rich) organization that has the congress in their shoulder holster.       theblogmeister

Friday, April 1, 2011

After the War

Mental effects of war delayed for months can cause the clinician to miss a PTSD diagnosis.

Post-traumatic stress disorder is known to affect soldiers who have served in war zones, but now a study of returning Iraq veterans has found many will not show signs of it for months. Any mental health screening is usually given shortly after return from deployment, so is unlikely to pick it up.
  Not surprisingly veterans who have witnessed, feared, or caused death and injury will be left unsettled for years, and many will suffer depression, aggressive impulses, alcoholism, or the nightmares and mood swings of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
  The US military has screened all soldiers for mental health problems on return from Iraq or Afghanistan since 2003. But now it appears serious disorders may not appear for months after the soldier comes home, and little is being done to catch them in the early stages.In 2005, fearing it may be missing some mental health problems, the US military instituted a second round of screening six months later.

Increased disturbances:
The first analysis of 88,000 Iraq veterans by Charles Milliken and colleagues at the Walter Reed Army Institute of research in Silver Spring, Maryland,US, shows that problems apparent right after return from deployment may be transient in some soldiers, as half or more soldiers with PTSD at the first screening had improved by the second.
But, by then, a second, larger group of veterans had started having problems, most of whom had showed no signs of PTSD when first assessed. The numbers experiencing other mental disturbances also increased. For example, the number of vets who worried about having conflicts with other people jumped more than fourfold.
  Reservists, who go home to civilian life rather than staying within the military, were the hardest hit. A quarter had PTSD at the second screening and 36% were identified as having some kind of mental health problem, such as stress, depression, aggression, or suicidal thoughts. Yet they were not always getting help, and, for those that did, the care they got often did not help.

Insufficient care:
The researchers say the indications are that mental health problems that may become chronic are probably already detectable, and treatable, a few months after return from deployment.
  As PTSD caused by battle may be worse than the civilian stresses that underlie most research on the condition, they say more research on treating veterans is needed.

 A study of our returning war heroes is alarming and inexcusable.
You would think that when these brave heroes (our soldiers) come back from Iraq and Afghanistan that they would have a safe, warm comfortable house to come home too. However, this is not so, because studies find a high percentage of Iraq veterans are returning home with mental problems and they are showing up at homeless shelters around the country.
  Recently, the government concluded that there are about 200,000 homeless vets in the United States. About 10 percent are either from the 1991 Gulf War, Iraq or Afghanistan.
  Our soldiers need serious help. We cannot let them reside in homeless shelters. These heroic men and women risked their lives to protect and ensure well-being and safety of America. They are putting their personal lives (family, friends, social lives and relationships) on hold to help America. Now America has to give back and ensure the soldiers that they have their own house to come home too. The government has to step in and providing funding for this important cause. If Americans can donate money to help other countries build homes then they can certainly donate money to help build living quarters for our soldiers. The welfare of our soldiers should come first.
  Nearly 1,300 U.S. soldiers were killed since the war began. Many thousands more have been wounded. Last week the New England Journal of Medicine reported that the US is facing a “severe shortage of surgeons in Iraq” to treat wounded soldiers. It is estimated that more soldiers have been injured in Iraq than during the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, or the first five years of the Vietnam War.
  Organizations around the country that help soldiers and veterans found that homeless shelters around the country are reporting they are already seeing some recently returned Iraq veterans showing up in need of shelter. The Homeless Veterans coalition estimates that nearly 500,000 veterans are homeless at some point in a given year.
  The medical community believes that many of these soldiers are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.
  The army reported in the New England journal of medicine that 17% of all of the soldiers who are just stepping off the military plane would screen positive for post traumatic stress disorder. This problem pops up weeks or months after serving in combat.
  The Department of Veterans Affairs concluded that 30,000 soldiers from Iraq had shown up at Department of Veterans Affairs health care facilities. In addition, out of these 30,000 one out of every five has been diagnosed with some sort of a mental problem.
  So, if a majority of our soldiers is suffering from mental disorders how are they going to survive in the civilian world? Prices are rising dramatically. Even people that make a decent salary are suffering.
  How are soldiers going to be able to get a good job, work long hours, pay their bills, and afford housing to top it off if they are not functioning 100 percent? A mental disorder is a serious issue. How are they going to afford houses and living expenses if they are battling everyday with a mental disorder that interferes with their lives and their ability to live a happy healthy and productive lifestyle?
  The government is telling us that these soldiers are homeless, but what are they doing about it? That is great they can tell us the figures, the real question is what are they doing to put a stop to all this.
  The government says the reason why they are homeless is because many suffer from residual stress from daily crucifying attacks and roadside bombs makes it tough to adjust to civilian life; some can’t navigate government assistance programs; others simply can’t afford a house or apartment.
  Again, I ask what are the government and the people of America going to do. The government has to have a well-developed program ready so when they evaluate them, they diagnose with a mental disorder they have to have assistance, and facilities ready for them. This includes housing provided by the government for these men and women.
  They are finding soldiers living in towns and cities big and small, from Washington State to California and Florida. Some of the hardest hit are in New York City, where housing costs is extremely expensive. Studio apartments in New York usually cost more than $1,000 a month.
  Many soldiers come home and have trouble finding a job. The economy is at its worst right now jobs are not easy to find. Many cannot support their families for this reason and without enough money to rent an apartment, they turn to the housing programs for vets, but some soldiers are overbooked and for this reason, they become homeless.
One man from New York told a newspaper this, “I ended up in a Bronx Shelter “with people who were just out of prison, and with roaches.” “I’m a young black man from the ghetto, but this was culture shock. This is not what I fought for, what I almost died for. This is not what I was supposed to come home to.”
  “Is this acceptable America? What are we going to do?”About 350 nonprofit service organizations are working with the Department of Veterans Affairs to help veterans. It is not acceptable to let soldiers come home after risking their lives to help our country and have nowhere to go.However, more has to be done to help this problem.
  What is shocking is that almost half of America’s 2.7 million disabled veterans receive $337 or less a month in benefits. This is unacceptable. How are our soldiers going to survive? They cannot survive on this income.Something needs to be done and it needs to be done now. After reading this, please contact veteran organizations and find out how you can help. Something has to change. And we are the only ones that can do it. The government will not do anything unless we put pressure on them and demand that something needs to be done.

These studies and the information that is gathered should make us all feel ashamed. I am a veteran, however, I have never been in combat, and I feel that we have forgotten those that served in a combat zone overseas. Contact your local congressman and ask them what you can do.                                      theblogmeister

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Another Soldiers Suicide

 A Father is calling for changes in how military officials handle depression after his son committed suicide in Afghanistan on his fourth deployment in a war zone.

David H. Senft said he still blames himself after his son, Staff Sergeant David P. Senft, killed himself on the Kandahar Air Force Base in Afghanistan with a single gunshot wound to the head.
“I wasn’t there when he needed me, and now it’s too late for him,” David said.
The 27-year-old helicopter repairman, assigned to the 101st Airborne Division, left behind an unsent text message on his cell phone after taking his life with his roommate’s stolen gun.
“I don’t know what say, I’m so sorry,” the message read.
Staff Sergeant Senft, a father, had already attempted suicide twice, received treatment at a mental hospital and had been stripped of his own firearm for his own safety, but was still cleared for active duty.
  His grieving father says military officials knew about Staff Sergeant Senft’s severe depression and should have kept him from staying in the war zone.
“They knew his history at Fort Campbell and they felt that he was suicidal enough to take his weapon away. Why didn't they send him home at that moment?” David asked.
  U.S. military suicides in Afghanistan have soared in recent years, even topping deaths in combat in some months.David said he hopes his son’s story will help save someone else’s child from the mental effects of combat.
   Staff Sergeant Senft is buried at Arlington National Cemetery. The Army has opened three separate investigations into his death, but his death is still officially listed as “non-combat related.”

This next story is of females who commit suicide in the military.

The findings, released to USA TODAY this week, show that the suicide rate rises from five per 100,000 to 15 per 100,000 among female soldiers at war. Scientists are not sure why but say they will look into whether women feel isolated in a male-dominated war zone or suffer greater anxieties about leaving behind children and other loved ones.
  Even so, the suicide risk for female soldiers in Iraq or Afghanistan is still lower than for men serving next to them, the $50 million study says.Findings also show that marriage somehow helps inoculate male and female soldiers from killing themselves while they are overseas. Although these death rates among GI's who are single or divorced double when they go to war, the rate among married soldiers does not increase, according to the study.
  Scientists say they hope these and other findings will help them tease out protective social patterns — such as, for example, that sense in a marriage of mattering to someone else — that can be encouraged or instilled in all soldiers to lower the risk of suicide.
  "One of the big things we're interested in now is digging into this marriage thing and saying, 'What is it you get, by being married? And how could we put it in a bottle so we can give it to everybody, whether or not they're married?" says Ronald Kessler, a psychiatric epidemiologist at Harvard Medical School who is working on the project.
  A goal of the five-year research effort, led by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), is to identify categories of soldiers most at risk for suicide. The Army suicide rate has more than doubled since 2004 from 10 per 100,000 to 22 per 100,000 among active-duty soldiers, surpassing the rate for civilians of the same age and gender.
  Last year, when National Guard and reservists data are included, an average of 25 soldiers killed themselves each month. This first slice of data from the study, drawn from Army records on 389 active-duty suicides between 2004 and 2008, is only a small piece of a sweeping research effort that will eventually include tracking between 30,000 and 50,000 soldiers from basic training onward, says Philip Wang, NIMH deputy director. He said the project could rival in significant the historic Framingham Heart study initiated in 1948 which uncovered causes of heart disease. Results of the Army suicide study would be valuable in preventing these deaths in the civilian world, says Thomas Insel, NIMH director.
Gen. Peter Chiarelli, the Army vice chief of staff, says he will begin to notify commanders of these initial findings immediately.
"I want to get this out in the hands of my guys so they can start using it and drawing their own conclusions. We'll give them as much as we can whenever we get it, and not wait until it's peer-reviewed and ... published in The New England Journal of Medicine." Chiarelli says. "I'm going to keep beating up on the researchers to give me more and more and more."

Other findings:

•Suicide rates among men increase from 15 per 100,000 to 21 per 100,000 when they deploy to Iraq or Afghanistan.
• Soldiers of Asian descent have dramatically higher suicide rates than other racial groups. Their risk is double or triple that of other soldiers, and four times higher in the war zone.

War is bad enough, especially when we are not 100% certain why we are there. These stories concern me very much as a veteran, and as a human being. Write your councilman and tell them of your concern of our soldiers mental health. We need to treat these individuals before it is too late.         theblogmeister

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

One Last Time To Say I Love You

One of the easiest places for a person who has passed on to visit with you is in your dreams. It's like a natural. There are two key things to having this wonderful thing happen for you.
  One is that you just be aware that it is possible.
  The other thing is that you not be afraid.

  When a person passes on they are no longer in pain. They do not care about your circumstances, but they still love you. And, if they didn't love you before they love you now. The issues we have with people in our lives who have passed on become one-sided. All of those issues are now on your side. The Person in Spirit doesn't care that they had a life-long feud with you. The Person in Spirit doesn't care that you betrayed them. The Person in Spirit loves you like nobody you've ever had love you before in your life.

  The Person in Spirit might have had a wasting away disease. They may have lost the use of their body. Their hair might have all fallen out prior to their passing. They might have looked like crap. But, now? In Spirit they are whole and healthy. They might even appear to be younger than they were when they passed on.
  They are not moldering in grave dust and dripping with ghoulish zombie like stuff. So, you can file that little factoid away in your brain and not be afraid of what they are actually going to look like if and when they visit you in your dreams.

Another thing that happens is that Spirit does not want. They don't want you to finish going to school. They don't want you to learn to drive a car. They don't want you to have more children. They don't want you to miss them. They don't want you to go pull up the floorboards to discover the $1,000,000 they squirreled away there 20 years ago. So, generally, you're not going to be getting messages like that in your dreams from them.

They're just going to stop by to say hi. You'll awaken in the morning knowing that you dreamed about your Uncle Ralph who's been gone 8 years. He was there to sit beside you on a park bench. That's all. It wasn't a momentous visit. He just sat beside you. And, in the morning you'll know that he visited with you.

Now, the whole thing gets a whole lot better if you are lucid in your dream. That's what happened to me the first time my mother came to visit with me.
  She'd been dead for awhile. I can't remember how long. But, I was still raw with the grieving of her. Interestingly, my Uncle Beau who'd been dead a whole lot longer eased the way for me to meet with her. I hadn't ever dreamed of him that I can remember, but he was in the dream showing me some of the wonderful pictures of flower arrangements he'd done. They were all behind these really big glass showcases on the wall. He and I stood side by side and I admired his work. Then, he pinched my butt. I think that was to get me lucid. Anyway, I jerked away and said, "What did you do that for?" He didn't say anything and we walked into the next room. He disappeared as people do in dreams and I was in a room that held an indoor swimming pool.

It was very dark in the room and the pool went right up almost to the walls. There was a very narrow walkway going around the three sides of the pool with a larger area right where I was standing. I "knew" that the pool was shallow at the end I was standing at and very deep at the other end. From the deep end of the pool, slowly with the water swooshing off of it, a marble bust of my mother rose out of the water. It was a life size bust of her and it began to move forward, toward me. It was like watching a dolphin dancing on its' fins walking on the water. I stepped into the water moving toward this bust of my mother and as we came together it turned into her.

To this day, remembering this dream, I tear up. It was that moving for me. She and I embraced and I knew her as I had known her when she was alive. I cried and she held me and it is how I know that people who have passed on can visit us in our dreams. I awakened from that dream in tears.

It was the first time I'd dreamed of my mother after she had died. It was also the first of many visits. I'm not generally lucid in my dreams. I don't always have that particular clarity and control available in a lucid dream, but I can count on my mother being in my dreams a lot. She will play one of the supporting characters. It's like I have movies in my head at night and she will sometimes be there. I know in the morning and thank her for the visit knowing that once again my mother came to visit me.

The process of having a visit from Someone in Spirit is very much the same as leaning how to channel. You've got to want to do it and then you have to stop with the yearning. So, wanting and wanting and wanting to dream of your daughter who is dead, or your husband who has passed on is going to put a stick in the spoke of your progress. Wanting deeply and then surrendering completely the want is what will finally make it happen.
Sometimes just knowing that it can happen is all that it will take.

This is someones view on contacting loved ones that have gone before us. I do not share their view nor agree with their opinion on this subject. Just because I do not agree does not mean that I will show a bias and not put this story on my site. The judgement is entirely up to you to decide.                   theblogmeister

Tony's Near Death Experience

   In the early 1970's, I was a a follower of the hippies. peace,, love, sex and of coarse...drugs. i quickly graduated from marijuana to, LSD, hashish, meth pills and heroin, although I only used heroin with one so called friend.
  I had some extra cash and with another friend went on my trip to to spanish side of town where it was easy to score. me and Dave took my car to an empty lot of rubble where Dave said he could score good stuff. we pooled our cash, a measly $60.00, but that was enough for each of use to "get off" 2-3 times each. we soon hooked up with a Puerto rican lad. he was young, but nervous always looking around. the usual are you a "nark" question was asked and we continued to test by licking the powder to ensure it wasn't a rip-off.
  It seemed real strong so we wanted to do some to make sure. This is not the normal coarse of action but this was a bad area and there were many scammers trying to take your money for the rip=off. We sat in my car as the kid opened up the tin foil and said this was a $60.00 bag or 1/2 gram. Dave insisted of a sample, so he rolled up his sleeve took out his needle, "works" and tried some. He immediately started to nod off saying this was good stuff, the best he's ever had and was barely able to speak. I then wanted to do some and gave the kid the money. As I did mine, which was rare because i always had someone else do the setting up for me. I didn't like needles and was lame on the amounts or size to do. Basically, I was inexperienced. I did everything on my own for the first time. The kid asked Dave if I can do good dope and I said I could, since Dave was in his dumbfounded state. Well, as I was injecting myself that was my last conscience vision. I overdosed.
  I awoke in a blinding light. beautiful, brilliant, dazzling. but I wasn't touching anything. I was floating, drifting, slowly upwards. I also had a sort of umbilical cord, descending towards a body, lying on a white table. There were 3 people on both sides looking at me, murmuring strange words. As I looked upwards there was a whiteness that was whiter than anything I'd ever seen. I started to go towards the end, but there was no end. I just kept trying to reach the end. I had never felt such tranquility before. Peace, love, no negativity at all, nothing but a nice, clear, clean emotion of sorts. I can't explain this feeling in detail just peaceful, nice, beautiful, and relaxed to the max.
  After awhile which was unspecified, I looked down again and saw a nurse, crying, putting her hands on my chest. A man dressed in black was making the sign of a cross, the other man was standing doing nothing. I started to get closer when I saw the body on the table was me. I was lying still, looking ugly, tired and dirty, but with a lax motionless body. When the man in white took out a needle and put it in my arm he backed away to a little table and rolled up his sleeves and started pounding on my chest as the nurse assisted him. The man in black was quoting the bible. It seemed like a long time but the nurse started laughing and the Doctor smiled. I started to open my eyes when suddenly it felt like I was being sucked down into the body. I then was in a dazed stupor blinking and I saw tears of happiness in the nurses eyes. I remember saying what happened to me? the doctor replied. "Son, your the luckiest kid I've ever seen. You just died from a drug overdosed and we revived you". I didn't know what to say and closed my eyes and rested. I was only 19 on that afternoon in 1973. It changed my life from a drug addict to a college grad in culinary arts, and later a successful cable TV contractor. I'm 58 now, disabled from a nerve disease, but I remember this clearly like that same day. I think of what I was and how I changed. It took 2 years to rehab from all the garbage I was putting into my body. Once my family had disowned me, because of my choices, after cleaning up, they looked up to me. I have 3 nephews who became chefs and managers in the food industry. They told me it was because of inspiration from me and my life story.It made me so proud I cried. This nerve disease has caused new devastation in my life now a new battle has surfaced. For 11 years I've declined, but I remain strong from this NDE. knowing...there is hope...for a better here after...Tony.

This NDE, as many as I have read, has the classic 'white light' scenerio in it. Could it be that the brilliant white light that so many talk about be a form of God? Just the color itself, white, is symbolic of good, pure. It is, indeed, something to consider.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Spirit In The Sky

  I apologize to my readers for being lazy and writing, lately. I have thought a lot about the story of my friend and her accident. She is doing much better and has regained most, if not all, of her memories. I can only imagine what she must have went through. The thought of waking up in another decade is frightening, to say the least. I have tried to put myself in her situation and have come to the conclusion that I would absolutely freak out. My memories have been the reason I have been put on medication, legal or not, and have been the result of terror over the past thirty years. Then I think of some good memories I wish I had the means to re-live. The thing with my friends situation was that she did not have any choice of the memories she was forced to re-live. That is a little scary, to me. The whole situation is scary. I want you to try and put yourself in her shoes, if you can. You have an accident that causes you to go back many years and all the memories that you have accumulated are gone. Memory, if my memory serves me correct, is the job of a part of the brain called the hippocampus. Among other jobs of the hippocampus, one is to forget things that have happened. It is impossible to remember everything that has happened in your life so the hippocampus decides what to forget. There are many more memories that we forget than those that we remember. Now, in her situation, she did not remember many years. She looked at her husband and did not know who he was. That is scary as hell. Then you do not realize the extent of your problem because you are forced back to another time. You may wonder some things but it would be hard to know that something serious has happened. You may think that you are fine. It is really intriging that the brain can be tricked into thinking it is another time. I just have not been able to get this story out of my mind. I have heard of people that have developed amnesia for what ever reason and I have to ask how a person knows he has amnesia. Someone that knows that person has to be the one that sees there is a problem, in the first place. I said before that I wished I had the ability to return to certain times of my life and re-experience them. Who wouldn't? I would also love to be able to choose memories and erase them, forever. Once again, Who wouldn't? The whole aspect of 6 pounds of grey matter can figure out things the largest computer cannot is fascinating. With the ability to wipe out certain memories, it would increase my quality of life. I just find this whole thing fascinating. My friend would probably have something else to say about it, though. Anyway, I am thankful that you are okay and keep getting better.       theblogmeister