Thursday, January 1, 2009


Search engine optimizer. When I get really bored I submit my site to about a cabillion search engines all at once. This could be the ultimate scam because I have no way of verifying that my site is placed on half that, half a cabillion. I can, however, confirm that three were. I had to click on the link that was sent to my e-mail. As far as the other cabillion( minus 3 )I can't be sure. I guess I'll have to take them at their word. Not to mention the flashing SEO sign I had to paste on my web page as payment for all of those many submissions. Let me tell you there was about a cabillion of those, too. Not flashing signs. There is no way at all to get that many on my house, much less my blog. I got a little lost, there. I do apologize. I have spent most of the day at my computer. My wife saw how much fun I was having typing my personal information repeatedly, until I had to schedule carpal tunnel surgery, she just had to have a blog of her own and the four scars that go along with it. You don't think I typed it in, do you? I had to go to physical therapy and squeeze a ball for 2 hours. Each hand. Now, the fun is almost over. Seriously. this is what I have come to dread. Sleep. I try shear exhaustion. Sometimes I get lucky. I used to ingest massive amounts of chemicals to reach stupor. I no longer support that method. I am currently using prayer and meditation. Pray for me. Thanks

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

High Tide

It has been a while. My PTSD has not improved at all. My psychiatrist has increased my mirtazapine and I did get some of that wonderful slumber for a few days. This, too, has passed. I , just like all of my medical specialists friends, have no control over the sub-conscious. I am now listening to some wonderful music by Jethro Tull. Why you ask? I chose to listen to Tull. I chose to post in my blog. The conscious mind. I have total control. Mistakes and all. I weigh the risks and benefits of a situation then take action. I reap the rewards or suffer the consequences. It is what you and I do everyday. Hundreds of times a day. Sometimes we are not fully conscious of what we are doing. We are not fully aware. There is a finite line between the two. When we allow our bodies to rest our mind keeps going. Why? We fall asleep and our sub-conscious mind takes control. We lose the power of choice. You cannot decide to dream a certain dream before you enter REM sleep. This is my enemy. My sub-conscious mind. It is out to destroy, divide and conquor.I do not have the skill or the strength to defeat what is out to destroy for to destroy the bad will destroy the good. How do I separate the two? I do not have the answer. I can only control the conscious mind. He is my friend. theblogmeister