Saturday, March 21, 2015

I have Come To A Crossroads

After weeks of mindful deliberations I have come to the conclusion to keep writing on this blog. I may have had some otherworldly actions to help me with my decision. I am not a person that believes in the paranormal but the things that have happened to me recently have given me pause to this non-belief. Some very abnormal things have happened causing me to delve a little more deeply in the thought of beings that are not alive nor are they dead. Some very small events that can easily be explained away have come to dominate my subconscious mind. I do not know if it is because the recent death of my son and my subconscious is forcing my mind to explore the remote possibility of the existence of two opposite forces coexisting. What if it is possible for the dead to be able to exist with the living? I have always been taught that when a man dies his body is left to rot and his soul continues on a journey. I am not sure what that journey consist of. Is it possible for the dead to linger among the living until his reservation is open? My problem is the forces that are at work against me. Evil? Godly? I do not know.
  For days after my son died my body went through a plethora of feelings. Sometimes I could hear my son talking to me. I could feel his touch, smell his odor. There were days that I expected, even hoped of his presence. Those were the days he did not come. His main avenue of contact was my dreams. I guess the mind is at such a receptive stage these things are possible. I have been having trouble sleeping at night since his death until my Doctor gave me a prescription of sleeping pills. The pills were for sleep and anxiety. He gave me 2mg Xanax to take as I saw fit. While in a pill induced stupor I made contact with my son that was as real as me sitting here typing. We sat down and talked about the things we never could say while he was alive. We talked for hours. Until after one night of talking I realized the actual time was twenty minutes. How could this be? I know that I was awake and not dreaming , so, there was only one explanation. This was real. The conversations continued and got stranger and stranger.

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