Tuesday, December 30, 2008

High Tide

It has been a while. My PTSD has not improved at all. My psychiatrist has increased my mirtazapine and I did get some of that wonderful slumber for a few days. This, too, has passed. I , just like all of my medical specialists friends, have no control over the sub-conscious. I am now listening to some wonderful music by Jethro Tull. Why you ask? I chose to listen to Tull. I chose to post in my blog. The conscious mind. I have total control. Mistakes and all. I weigh the risks and benefits of a situation then take action. I reap the rewards or suffer the consequences. It is what you and I do everyday. Hundreds of times a day. Sometimes we are not fully conscious of what we are doing. We are not fully aware. There is a finite line between the two. When we allow our bodies to rest our mind keeps going. Why? We fall asleep and our sub-conscious mind takes control. We lose the power of choice. You cannot decide to dream a certain dream before you enter REM sleep. This is my enemy. My sub-conscious mind. It is out to destroy, divide and conquor.I do not have the skill or the strength to defeat what is out to destroy for to destroy the bad will destroy the good. How do I separate the two? I do not have the answer. I can only control the conscious mind. He is my friend. theblogmeister

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