Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Others Among Us

I caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye. He was moving fast enough for me not to see him. I could still smell him, though. I had gotten out of bed a few minutes before the news went off and heard my wife in the bathroom. I reached over to grab the remote and realized that Lorri was still in the bed. I must have left the water running a slow drip. As I started towards the bathroom the light went out. That's when I smelled him. My sense of smell is very good for someone who is a smoker. Yeah, I am one of those. Smoking or non-smoking? I do not ask if you fart. Farting or non-farting? Hell, it is getting to where us 'smokers' are having a hard time to find a place to light up. I'm getting off the subject, I know, he ain't going anywhere. What I was trying to say is that I could smell him and it would not be long before I could see him. He don't stink, to the contrary, he smells like a damn hospital. Aseptic. Those chemical smells you may find in Chem 1, look under the lab table and you will find that fucker hiding under there. The only time I ever saw him while he was alive was in the hospital so I guess he inherited the aseptic smell when I killed him. I know it could be worse. The Col. died of colorectal cancer, if I had not intervened and played God with him, and if you have ever smelled anyone that had cancer you would know what I mean. That is the worst smell imaginable. There should be a chart for smells like they have in chemistry's periodic table. Dsh-dog shit, CKsh, chicken shit, RE-rotting egg. I am not sure the winner of the periodic table in chemistry would be but I do know who wins by a landslide on our smell chart; that is cancer. To make matters worse is where the colonel had his cancer. In his colon. The tube that holds shit. This is a smell I cannot put into words but I can easily find a man that has been dead for a long time. Stay with me, I do not want to confuse you. The dead guy smells like antiseptic and it is bearable. I ask my wife if she can smell a hospital and she just looks at me thinking I need to be in one, a mental one. I know what the colonel wants. He wants me to go out on the back porch and sit with him. I have just reached the point that I am not wigging out by the appearance of a ghost and he has had a lot of practice being dead. He finally got my attention. I guess it has been a couple years, maybe? I think he wants me to do something for him. If he gives me the numbers to mega-millions when it gets way up there I'll do what ever he wants. He always does this when he needs me to do stuff. He will wait until everyone is asleep and when I get up to take a piss The bathroom light goes off before I reach it and then the back door slowly creeps open. I have just recently learned of this. We have had our times, though. Scared the shit out of me, literally. Had to change. Now I will go back there and try to figure out what it is exactly, this is an important word, Exactly, just what the hell am I doing up in the middle of the night trying to figure out what he wants me to do. Hell, he needs to get busy and give me some help. I could probably think a lot clearer if I were sitting in 105 degree sauna with some Jimmy Buffett coming out of the speakers. I do not have a hot tub and I don't feel like spending time on the porch tonight. Maybe later.        theblogmeister 

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