Sunday, December 22, 2013

The Next Chapter

 I have come along way since the days of battling with my Colonel. The nightmares. Maybe certain people have the ability to communicate with the dead, I don"t  know. I do know, however, that I have spoken with the dead. I have had dealings with an old man for a lot of years. Sometimes, I would think that I was losing my mind. Overload because of dreams, real events, and stress. 
  Now, I am getting hit with stuff that it as every bit of real as the oceans of the sea. One large problem. I do not know what to do. I believe that when I talked with my brother and it seemed I had to fulfill a mission that would make a twenty-year SEAL want to come along for the ride. It will be like nothing I had ever experienced. Like Mr. Hendrix"s band, " Experienced"
  My wife has been spending a lot of time with the doctors. One, in particular. I don't really blame her, I guess. I am mostly trying to find the light. That is the one thing I have to do.
  I keep going over in my head the past year. The first time that I went into the light. I still remember the feeling emanating from all my family that was there to greet me. I wonder if they think it was a false alarm, or something.The second time into the light was so different. I must have not been "one of them." It is because the shocker I had on the first day of walking around is the reason I may believe it. I know that when I slipped my field of vision just over the ledge I did not see people. I saw many orbs of light and that has shaken me to the core. As soon as I saw them, they were gone. I had the eeriest feeling about those orbs. It is like they were alive. What being, I'm not sure. 
  The doctors finally came back into my room  and I began hearing things that did not interest me in the least. Talk of not being interested. The only thing on my mind was getting the hell out of this dimension and into another. In the back of my mind I cannot help but wonder if this and my dealings with the Col. were related. What I did to the Col. bothered me to the point I began self medicating to rid my memory of killing another man. 
 The drug use started small. I would take a few 5mg. Valiums and would feel like a million bucks. It did not take long before those few turned into ten to get the same effect. Later it became time to change the chemical I was using to deal with the horror I created. Meperadine Hydrochloride was the winner. Most people know it by Demerol. I knew it by roll. Roll I did for a long time. The horror that rolling made bearable soon turned into something unexplainable. I only thought I was experiencing horror. Years after I killed the Col. I really learned what horror meant. I believe that what is happening to me now is payback. To be honest, I'm scared as hell.                                              theblogmeister 

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