Terminal

I have been told that my illness may well be with me from now on. My demon has haunted me for 29 years, so, I do not doubt that declaration. For 23 years I had no ammo to fight It with. I have the ammo now, yet I don't feel well trained enough to use it. It is strange. At times I feel I have the Demon shackled and feel some control. Then, I feel totally helpless. Memory is a strange part of my brain. Sometimes I can remember years past, other times I can't remember what I did yesterday. The memories that haunt my sub-conscious are so powerful. I may go for days with restful slumber then all hell breaks loose inside my mind. I wish a neurologist would clue me in. Psychiatrists have not helped. Maybe I need to do like the Indians and smoke some peyote or mescaline. I wonder if....... theblogmeister