Have you ever lost someone that was real close to you? It affected me almost as much as it did when I killed my patient. I hardly remember the next 6 months. I stayed so stoned I barely could work. I did work, though. I had to do something to take my mind off my problems. I managed to stay out of jail for a while. The Demon was fucking with me hard. I would have nightmares about the colonel killing my brother. My partying brother was gone. I had two more brothers, one older and one younger. My oldest brother worked at Goodyear and was heavily involved in union stuff. My younger brother lived in Houston, Tx. so I hardly saw him. I was married at the time to a woman that I had nothing in common with. I got her pregnant and felt like I should marry her to help raise my child. That marriage did not last very long. If you did not do drugs and married that woman you would be a doper when you left her. I had too many problems to be in a relationship with anyone. I started going to see a psychiatrist at the VA about my nightmares. He put me on a bunch of shit that I did not need. Just made everything worse. My parents talked me in to going to a drug treatment facility. It was an inpatient program that lasted 6 months. I agreed to do it. I had some experience with drug treatment so I excelled in the program. I was appointed by the staff to be a senior resident. It was more like a police. I was supposed to write other residents a demerit which would prolong their stay. Hell, 6 months was long enough, so, I refused to write anyone up. I got fired. Fine by me. I was the first resident to make it through the whole 6 months without getting a demerit. Whoop-de-doo! I did learn a lot about treatment, though. I also got divorce papers while I was there. Another whoop-de-doo. I did not care, anyway. I did make it 6 months without getting high. You know what that meant. I had problems with sleeping. I had some residents that asked to be moved out of my dorm because they thought that I would do something to them at night. Scarety-cats.
I graduated with honors and left the place, got into my truck, and went to an emergency room in Rome, Ga. They admitted me. The doctors said I had some fractured ribs with a possible punctured lung and they wanted to watch me to make sure the lung was okay. Fine by me. I laid up in that hospital room and got me a shot of Demerol 100mg every 4 hours. Free. I gave them a bogus name, ss#, and told them I owned my company, which was bogus, and told them to send the bill to my bogus address and I would file it under my bogus Workman's comp. I left after a couple days but not before I acquired me a prescription pad. It was on like a chicken bone, then. Have you ever noticed how many friends you have when you have a lot of dope? It's amazing. They should do a study on that one. Look, all I was trying to do was quiet that Demon I had in my head. The only way to shut him up was drugs. I'm not talking about weed it had to be scheduled 3and 4 drugs. I was in for a rude awakening. theblogmeister