After Airman Riley finished my a.m. care the doctors came to visit. You know when 3 or more docs visit you at once, it is not a good sign. I was right. They told me the cancer had metastasized and I had a few months, at best. I wonder how Bunny is going to take this.? Not good. I can't stand the pain for a few more months. Think how it feels to smash your finger with a hammer, triple that, and that is how I feel. I have some good days, though. Riley helps me get my mind off my pain. He told me yesterday that Col. Potter was to reassign him. I will have a talk with her. Riley is the only thing, next to Bunny, that I look forward to. My days are filled with tremendous lows followed by some good times with Riley. He is just a kid from Alabama that does not realize how much he means to me. When I was his age, 19, I was learning to fly B-25's. He is doing his part. I have talked it over with Bunny and made it clear that I did not want to live like this. The pain meds are beginning to have no effect on this cancer that is eating my body away. I have to find a way to end this. I just can't take it, anymore. I know Bunny will not do what needs to be done and I am not sure that I can convince Riley into helping me. I can't do it because Bunny will lose my pension and will not get my life insurance. I have to find a way to convince airman Riley to go along with this. First, I will have a talk with Col. Potter to make damn sure that Riley is my care taker. I do not want to develop, nor do I have the time, a relationship with another tech. Riley has been with me from the start. I just hope I will be able to convince him that this is the best way for Bunny and me. I often wonder what would happen, if he agrees to help me, with his future. Will he be able to handle it, mentally? Will he even agree to do it at all? We will just have to wait and see. The door opens and it is Riley.
"Hey, Col. D. I have some food that I had flown in from Paris. I think you will enjoy it." This kid is amazing. I am really going to miss him.
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