Tuesday, March 15, 2011

PTSD: The Disorder Continues

  The previous story is one of the extreme cases on record. I agree with the author of the story that you do not have to have combat experience to have a PTSD diagnosis. I was diagnosed with PTSD several years ago and I am taking medication for the nightmares. The nightmares over the years have not changed to the extreme. Most of my visits at night come from the colonel that manipulated a teenager into carrying out his plan because he was too much of a coward to do it himself. The real reason is probably financial. If he had committed suicide he would not receive the benefits and the life insurance he had planned on using to care for his wife, Bunny. Why the colonel continues to haunt me in my dreams, I have no idea. He has terrorized me for over 30 years for doing exactly what he asked me to do. End his life in a way that would not raise suspicion. I used a chemical that is found in the body, naturally, so if there was an autopsy no questions would be raised. What do I get for granting his last request? I will never know. Bunny asked me to come to the reading of his will but because of the shame I was feeling, I did not attend. I just feel that he abused our friendship to get me to do his dirty work. I hate him for that. Thanks to him, I am constantly being terrorized by him in my dreams. Thanks a lot, colonel. That is something I did not need. Life is hard enough without having to deal with nightmares that effect my waking hours. There was a time that I really loved you and Bunny and my feelings toward you have changed dramatically. Leave me alone. Let me get on with my life. I do not need you, anymore. I hope you are proud of yourself for ruining a kids life. Thanks for nothing.    theblogmeister

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