Discombobulated

I can't sleep with a brain that seems to be in overdrive. I do not take any medication that has a side effect stronger than my pain meds. Unfortunately, that side effect happens to be insomnia. I have to admit that it works in my favor. Why? It just so happens that sleep is my enemy. I wish the body could go without it. I would never have to face the colonel in his element. My subconscious mind is a beacon for the vessel of fear. Someone said that fear is a great motivator. I guess you could say that the fear of failure is a better motivator but, then again, the fear to fail may be a barrier to success. It seems to me that success is a series of failed attempts. One is not born successful. It takes risks and failures to learn what works to be a success. If you want to be good at something it takes knowledge and repetition. Knowledge is power. I am filled with cliche's. It is after midnight and I should be in bed with my legs entangled with my wife's legs. The problem is that my mind will not stop thinking. I know why Michael Jackson overdosed on the Diprovan. I have epidurals done every other month on my back and that is what they use to put me to sleep. I call it milk of amnesia. It looks like milk and you do not remember shit after you wake up. It is some amazing stuff. I do not know if MJ was fighting any demons and had to have it to get rest. Hell, if I looked like MJ I would use something like Diprovan, too. He probably scares the hell out of himself when he looks in the mirror. He got it wrong with Man In The Mirror, it should have been Parrot in the Mirror. I apologize to my loyal readers. I have read your emails. Sometimes I can't even sit in this chair long enough to post. I guess I need to get me a lap dance. That was a Freudian slip. I meant a laptop. I would not have any excuses to make. I could say Arthur came to visit. Arthritis? Ha Ha. I do enjoy writing. It is therapeutic. When I have one of those nightmares that I would put my hand on the Bible and swear they were real it helps me to come in my office and vent. The lines are getting blurred when it comes to my visits from the colonel. Fact or fiction. Sometimes I do not know. I have had paranormal happenings as early as eleven. Could the colonel be real? I swear, sometimes I question myself. Had it not have been for Lorri, I am afraid of what could have been. I do not think I could handle this on my own. My meds need to be re-evaluated, I believe. Anyway, I wanted to apologize for being AWOL these past few weeks. I'll buy a lap, almost did it, again, top and keep you more informed. Thanks for hanging in there.       theblogmeister