Friday, July 29, 2011

He Is In My Head

Night after night I cannot get through one without visions of the demon of my past. He has chosen to take the route of the past trying to cause me to lose my sanity. Why? I did what was asked of me. It took the colonel weeks to convince me to do what he could not do himself. Do I get thanks for doing it? Hell, no. All I get is images of the torment and hell he put me through for years. He has followed me from Ft. Walton Beach, FL. to where I am, today. Can you call this a haunting. I believe it is exactly that. I hear tremendous noises that are loud enough to wake me from a deep sleep. I get up and examine my home. You should feel safe in your home. I do not. I had finally made contact with him and I sat on my couch as he sat on the other end. Was I dreaming? I really do not believe so. I could smell him, I could see him. I stared at him for what seemed like an hour and he finally spoke. "Why do you fear me?" You have got to be kidding. I blew a fuse. That question pissed me off. Then, he asked me the same thing, again. I let him have it, verbally. Now, he has chosen to be a coward, again. He has chosen to try to create fear in me. It works, too. I do not know what to do. He has moved things in my house. That, in itself, scares the hell out of me. What if he tried to hurt my wife or myself? If he can move things then he has the power to put a knife in my chest. Scared? Hell yes, I am scared. I sleep with one eye open. It is a figure of speech, I sleep lightly. He has control of my sub-conscious mind. When I sleep, he has power. I cannot stay awake, forever. It is affecting my life. Sometimes I wonder if I am losing my mind. I am sure he will continue with his games. Just pray for me.    theblogmeister

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