Monday, August 5, 2013

The Light

  I told Lorri what I had seen, felt, and believed during the time I was in a coma. She seemed to be in shock because I coded. Through her tears she told me that she thought I was going to die. I reassured her that what I experienced was nothing to be afraid of. She did not want to lose me and was against my wanting to be placed back into a coma. I convinced her that when I coded it had nothing to do with the medically induced coma. I was having to tell her this by writing because of the ET tube and my fingers were getting cramps. I assured her that nothing bad was to happen by choosing to be placed back into a coma. We looked into each others eyes not knowing if we would ever see each other, again. She agreed and went to tell the medical staff.
  It was just a few minutes before my room was full of  doctors and nurses. Lorri explained to the staff my wishes. The doctors reminded her that the coma could cause another respiratory arrest and they could not promise her anything. She held my hand and told them it is what I wanted and she agreed. The hospital made us sign a waiver to cover their ass, legally. Fine with me. I'm ready to go into the light. I also realize that in order for that to happen I may have to die. It was worth the chance, for me, to be with those loved ones I was with before.
  I watched the plunger of the needle emptying the drug into my vein. That warm feeling covered my body and as I was about to lose consciousness I looked at Lorri, with tears flowing down her cheeks, praying I would see her, again.
  I see it. I have been wanting this more than I have wanted anything in my life. The light grew brighter until I was enveloped with feeling never experienced before. When I opened my eyes I was sitting on a hilltop overlooking a river. The colors were brighter than any colors I had ever seen. It was the most beautiful scene you could imagine. I could smell the grass. I could feel a slight breeze in my face but something was missing. Where were those that met me when I came through the light last time? I was all alone. I must be dreaming. This could not be what I had experienced the last time. I was confused. I wanted to go back until I saw a figure walking towards me. I could not make out who it was but I believed it to me a human. The closer the figure came I recognized who it was. I have to be dreaming. In a moment of clarity I knew I was not dreaming. I knew the man by name. I had never seen him before but I knew quite a bit about him. He was crucified by the Romans and on the third day he was resurrected. He was wearing a bright white gown, flowing with the breeze. As he approached I stood and asked him if he was Jesus, the Son of God. He told me he was my creator and I was his child. It was not like last time when I communicated with my family without speaking. I was speaking to him and he was speaking to me. I was about to ask him if I was dead when he told me that I had been given a unique gift. I could stay as long as I wanted and could go back whenever I chose. All I could say was thank you for this gift you have given me and your sacrifices that allowed my family to be in your presence. He pointed in the direction of the river and told me to go, that I would find what I was looking for. I turned and started to walk towards the river.         theblogmeister

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