Friday, October 15, 2010
Did I Hear What I Think I Heard?
I was stunned, confused, then figured the Col. was just playing with me. I told him not to even joke around like that. He was not joking. He was serious. He actually wanted me to go against everything I believed in about medicine. I blew it off. The look in his eyes was telling me he was for real. I know how much pain he is in. I have watched him waste away to a shell of the man he was when he was admitted. He was a tall, good-looking man in his early seventies. A fighter pilot in his youth. An avid golfer. He made me tell him all about my round of golf every time I played. I could tell how much he missed it. I could tell how much he missed life, in general. Bunny spent as much time as she could with him but he insisted on her not staying all day with him. I guess it gave him time to work on me to convince me to end his life. He must have realized that it was going to take a lot of convincing on his part to get me to pull it off. I did not give it much thought, at first. He was relentless. The Col. was a very intelligent man and I'm sure he was used to getting his way. After all, he was a squadron commander of an air fighter wing. I could sit with him for hours, and often did when the unit was not at capacity, listening to the many stories of his dogfights in WWII and the Korean war. He was an ace and had never been shot down. He had some close calls but always made it back to base. I had wondered if the decision to end his life was ever discussed with Bunny. I still wonder, to this day. He knew that his time was not that far away but, once before, the doctors had tried some experimental drugs and he, amazingly, got to feeling better. The immense pain he constantly was in was evident in everything he did. You could see it in his eyes. Those steely green eyes were losing their brightness. The doctors could not tell him how much time he had left. I felt that he was going to be in charge of when that time would be. He had one hurdle. Convincing me. theblogmeister