Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Sleeping With The Enemy

  My eyes lids are becoming heavy, very heavy.  I can feel the warmth spreading throughout my body. I close my eyes what seems for a couple minutes and I can feel Him near. He is like a small child when he first believes in Santa. The night before Christmas eagerly awaiting sleep to overtake me so he will have a pathway into my soul. He has become a master at finding ways to take control of my parasympathetic nervous system. I think He believes He has the power to control physiological systems inside me. If He wanted me to go into cardiac arrest He can manipulate my aortic valve causing arrhythmias or interrupt the gas exchange in my lungs putting me in respiratory failure. To do this would be like a child running over glass to purposely flatten a tire on his new bicycle. He wants my body to function properly less He would lose His stage. He loves the winters with the long nights. He has more time to create stresses that affect my body so that I will need more rest. Rest for me is power for Him. He has become a master at this. For over 30 years He has reeked havoc on my sub-conscious mind. It is His playground, His laboratory, and His test tube. He knows there is nothing I can do about it. He understands my body better than I. He gets excited when the doctors prescribe me medicines that help me sleep. The night does not last long enough for Him. He is filled with greed. He does not want me to die, for if I die, He dies, also. He strokes me at night seemingly to comfort me. He has massaged my shoulder and I turn to tell my wife thank you but she is in a deep slumber. I once took too many 60mg Morphine at once and just before I feel into a permanent sleep He struck me hard between the shoulder blades waking me and the fear increased my respiration, saving my life. This time, I was alone in bed. He protects me to have a vehicle into this parallel universe. He has no other way to cross over. That is why He keeps me alive. To become proficient in His craft, psychological terror. He makes sure that I do not step off into insanity because His power would be limited. He needs me. He is punishing me without bodily harm. How long can I take this? If I admit that He is more powerful than I will He leave me? Sometimes He gets carried away and pushes me a little too close to the edge. I really do not believe He would let me fall. I have to find a way to defeat Him. If I could rob Him of His power I do not think there is enough left to pick up the peices. I call Him Darkness.   theblogmeister

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